"In order to be irreplaceable,
one must always be different." -Coco Chanel
Like I'm Gonna Lose You
Friday, 2 October 2015

Hi Everyone!

So this post is going to be a personal post. I know I have never posted any personal stuff before. Firstly, I would like to thank whoever who has been reading my blog (I stalk the blog counts). I've been shot at for being a snob and being arrogant because I address my posts to "everyone" But it's just that I'm referring to whoever who comes here and read. In a polite manner. 

Secondly, the past 6 months has been a downhill for me, also the year before it. I've lost my 2 dogs. This year's March, I've lost my Daddy. 

You know, when you were younger and ignorant about anything and everything? I was so engrossed with myself. When I was in school, the first 2 years, I was rather bad tempered, cranky 24/7. I wondered why. But now I do. As my schoolmates and classmates were like that too. Thank GOD I realised how i was, and I changed. 

I changed, treating my parents better. I would always go out with them, to the museums, to eat, to play, to have fun. Anything. My Parents always gave me the best things in life and I did not stop to think about it only when I was 19. Was I late? My Parents were my priority in my life, the most important people in my life. I thought, hey, It's time to stop thinking only for yourself. You owe your parents. Not the other way round. Your Parents don't owe you anything.

My objective of this post it's to ask all of you, to treat your parents well. They are growing older each second. You have only a set of Parents once. Once you lose them, you will never get them back. I know some may not agree with me (maybe), but i really don't want all of you to regret.

Well, like i said, I was glad I changed in time.

My Dad, got diagnosed with Cancer last year, November. Everything in my life started to change. I wasn't so focused in my work anymore. Every single day, whenever I was at work, I would think of my dad. I asked GOD "Why. Why do the nicest people always suffer and leave the earth so early?"

Day by Day. Hour by Hour. Minute by minute. Seconds by seconds.

I could never imagine my life without my parents. I was prepared for the worse (in a way). However, we can never be prepared enough. Never.

My Dad got weaker each day. His memory started to fail, as there were cancer cells in his brain already. Every night before i sleep I would sit by his side and look at him. "Hey daddy, when will you get better?" to "Hey daddy, if you're in pain. You really need to let go. Go ahead. I will understand as I can't bear to see you in this state."

I really treasured every single second with him till his last breath. I was by his side when he left. He told me he "cannot". You know that feeling, when you know the symptoms of death? My heart dropped every single second when I checked out for the symptoms. I kept telling myself "no no no, you can't do this to me." Yet you don't want him to suffer. 

Well, I'm happy that he is happy now. He told me in various ways. Through my dreams, my friends and the signs. I'm so happy that I made him proud (which I still do not know the reason why.)

I still miss him. Time t0 Time. 

Also, I would like you to also take care of yourself, your health (because cancer is rising). Be happy. Those things that can't be solved NOW, put them at the back of your head. Solve what you can, do what you can. Eventually, everything will fall back in place. In time. Remember to have love and compassion. I know it's hard. But do have love. <3

Stay happy lovers!

With love,
G <3

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